Wednesday, March 2, 2011

proud 'person of walmarts'

It was our familiar ritual for six years.

Mom and I trekked to walmarts weekly to fetch supplies. It would have been easier for me to do her shopping for her, but how much fun is that? Picking her up at the home, assisting her to the car, driving to walmarts, and situating her old bod in the zippy electric cart was the stuff of Joy legend.


It irritated Joy that the elderly advanced-aged greeter liked me. She thought his crush was unbecoming and she expressed her displeasure.

What am I supposed to do, Mom? Run from the old guy? My hugs make his day! You're just jealous!

She would've LOST it had she known he stalked me while I was shopping and plied me with free candy. Texan, are you reading this?? 

I offered to help her shop. She replied she didn't require my assistance. After she laid a tire track up the back of my skinny ankle, I was ecstatic for her independent spirit! More time for me to hang out on the ammo aisle. I was always ready to hear the announcement.....

Attention walmart choppers, because of an unfortunate motorized cart incident, we will no longer have fresh eggs available for sale today. Would the daughter of Joy please report to the security office?
****slinking out of the store****

As her world grew smaller, the forays to walmarts became more important.  It was one place she could have independence. She'd gleefully drive where she damn-well pleased in her motorized cadillac.

Sometimes I'd catch a glimpse of her in the aisles....I swear the woman touched each blessed item in the store! She'd buy everything from nicotine gum to brassieres, sugar-free yogurt to micro-fiber panties. She desired the best deal and she'd study the advertised discounts. Stopped counting the number of times she carefully checked her receipt and we had to go back to customer service for the $.50 or $1.00 they'd stiffed her.

The last time this occurred, I bribed her with $2.00 cash if we could just let it go and go home and put our groceries away. She was unamused and muttered I hadn't learned the real value of a dollar. 

It usually required Joy about 1 1/2 hours to complete her basic shopping. The time she wanted to purchase a digital camera and a photo printer required a little longer.

What are you wanting a digital camera for, Mom?

I want to take pictures of my friends (at the home). I want to print pictures of them so I can remember what they looked like. (This was after a couple of her bestest girlfriend bridge buddies passed on)

The 83 year-old woman was a picture-snapping demon for weeks on end. She took pictures of all the residents, the office help, the girls in the cafeteria, and the maintenance workers. All photos were taken 'down-low'...wheelchair perspective only. The photos were odd...always looking up at the subject, but she was proud of them.  On special occasions, she would frame them and give them to the person as a gift.

I went to walmarts by myself this week. Didn't see my greeter boyfriend...must've been his day off. I got my shopping done....quickly....efficiently. Home in a snap. Sigh.

Check out this website and chuckle
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

Can you spot Joy and me?

Discount shopping love to all.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

brilliant K...wallmart will never be the same, yes? beijos

Buckskins Rule said...

Kate, don't even try to convince me that you don't miss every moment you spent at wally world with her.

I can only hope that when I'm an old dotard that my offspring will care enough to take my old ass shopping.

Mary said...

Funny, funny Walmart pictures. I viewed 11 pages of unbelievable scenes,-- no times for the hundreds more -- seems like several of these are cases of indecent exposure, Ha!

Anonymous said...

S&B of Tulsa enjoyed your touching story. walmarts is known as walmark here.

tattytiara said...

I have another circle for your chart - MC Hammer. Seriously - I saw him driving one once, back when he still had money. He was with about two dozen other people wearing matching neon track suits, and they were all driving them in the mall. Looked like a school of lost beta fish.

Charming post, I really enjoy your gentle humor.