baconization

I detest the food Nazis. I eat/drink copious amounts of 'so-called' offending foods as a form of private protest.***fist raised*** The junk science the food Nazis try to spoon-feed the American public....well, it's purely annoying and faddish.

THEN-remember the evils of coffee? Coffee was gonna kill you, raise your blood pressure and clog your arteries sure enough....better stop drinking it or wind up six feet under!
NOW-coffee is a wonder drink that stimulates the brain and wards off Alzheimers. It reduces your sudoku completion time! Coffee applied directly to the skin can reduce wrinkles and banish cellulite forever. Owning a Keuring is now an acceptable form of health insurance.

Hey Texan....how's the construction of the coffee endless pool coming along??


Movie popcorn, beef, eggs and milk have all found themselves in the food-Nazi's crosshairs.

Another food sounding the alarm for the food police?......bacon.

THEN-bacon is fatty and the animal fat will clog your arteries and your heart will explode. It contains harmful nitrates which cause crazy cancers in white lab rats. Run for the hills people!! Only an insane person with a salted-pork death wish would touch the stuff.

I adore fried, salty, nitrate-laden, crispy pork belly. I never quit eating it...probably have it 2-3 mornings a week with a nice piece of whole wheat toast.

But law-zee, people....have you noticed the current trend?!

No longer is bacon a compliment to fried eggs or pancakes completing the perfect breakfast.

It's not just another topping to pile on our mega-triple-bacon cheeseburger.

We are so highly evolved, bacon is no longer the perfect compliment to tasty baked beans.

NOW-crispy, fried pork is the ingredient du jour in our ice cream! It tastes even better when the shake is made with yummy, fake-bacon flavoring. Mmmm-mmm-mm!

A bacon-flavored shake is precisely what I'm cravin'. How 'bout you??

OK, chicken-wingers. This is wrong on so many levels, I don't know where to start. What happened to good' ole sprinkles, fruit, chocolate/caramel, nuts, marshmallows.....even freakin' gummy bears?

Every shred of common sense says 'Don't eat this....it's unnatural!'

I scream, 'Nothing good can come of this food combination'. It's the baconization of America!


Consider yourself warned.

Food purity love to all.

paws and effect

When I'm working in the yard, Roxy-Doxy (a.k.a. 'rockhound') definitely has her own agenda. Her agenda does NOT involve helping me with the chores.

See?! She's found the perfect stone! Isn't this thrilling? ****yawn****whaterthechances??

As I dutifully unload my car of potting soil and plants, the Doxy has another plan for my day.

Yeah Roxy-Doxy.... I see your perfect rock. Nice. ****sigh****Rock=the cause

You're gettin' mighty close to the edge with that rock, wiener....don't drop it!

Doxy....it's gonna fa..... Uh-oh.

The effect.

The ultimate effect.

Pick up rock, throw rock into the bushes and repeat. The rock-drop never loses it's appeal. Ne-ver.

You can imagine how much I am getting done.....

Spring love to all.

drama

What a busy week this has been! Wanted to share one of my most fun moments with you. I was asked to sing and do a little program for the NUFFS (no one under fifty-five) over at First Presbyterian Church. The Texan and I attended that fine church for many years, so it was kinda old home week for me.

Got to visit with Amarillo Man of theYear....Eddie M!

Eddie told me of BIG plans for his upcoming 100th this July! I'll be there, Eddie.

The show for the NUFFS was a kind of  Broadway revue...complete with quick costume changes and very bad wigs. I definitely play for the 'fun factor'.

I told the NUFFS absolutely NO NUDITY, so I left my clothes on for All That Jazz.





 My stage was in their gorgeous parlor.

Always keepin' it classy with my redition of Memories from CATS. The flea-bitten old feline was remembering when she was a beautiful, young, and less-lumpy cat.

Channeling my inner Ethel Merman in Everything's Comin' Up Roses. The song is from Gypsy...about a stripper, but I STILL kept my clothes on. You're welcome.

This bleached blonde floozy was trying to figure out how to love Him, from Jesus Christ Superstar.

Yup, you guessed it smarty pants! Everyone's favorite Cockney, Eliza Doolittle.

The old Fantine dreaming a dream. Is there an owl or something makin' a home in that wig??

Just when life KILLS Fantine's dream, she yanks off the shawl/bad wig and underneath it all she's really ANNIE belting out how everything will be great Tomorrow!

The above photo shows the fantastic accompianist who helped me...Miss Sara. She was my rock! Brava, Sara!

After my part of the program was done, I got to learn about fire safety.

Why, oh why did I not take a picture of the hot firefighter? My bad.

I learned basically that old folks are screwed if there's a fire, cuz we're all too feeble to get up out of our wheelchairs and run out of the house. We're deaf and can't hear the smoke alarm. Hell, we can't even stop, drop, and roll! Most of us are tethered to an oxygen machine anyway, so we're gonna die or explode. Lesson learned, Mr. Hot Firefighter.

Really....he was very nice and said we could call him for anything. Anything?. ..hmmmmmmm

Thank-you NUFFS for being an appreciative audience. I had a great time being with all of you.

NUFF-y love to all!

Ready, Set, GOpera!

I'm not an opera aficionado. Don't know a libretto from a library card. I think a cadenza is something my grandmother stored her Sunday china in. No idea what toi, toi, toi means....is it the number three spoken in Latin or the sound of spitting to keep evil spirits at bay?

The gorgeous set of Amarillo Opera's La Perichole

Even though I don't know much about opera, I'm positive there are lots of reasons to like Amarillo Opera's production of La Perichole.

You see, I attended a picnic on the stage and was treated to some sneak peeks of the upcoming performance.

I enjoy the fact this opera will be sung in my native tongue Oklahoma Hillbilly English. Therefore, I can understand perfectly what this gentleman is singing about.

He is singing about women being goddesses. Who am I to disagree??

I enjoy the fact this show is clever and it makes me laugh. I like to laugh.

Our heroine...Perichole

Isn't she beautiful? She's singing a song about how men are generally dull and thick-skulled. Who am I to disagree??

I enjoy hearing gorgeous voices and supporting the arts in our humble town. We are fantastically blessed to have outstanding talent grace the stage in our glorious Globe News Center. The acoustics are sublime, so please silence your cellphone.

The director described this opera as a fluffy, tasty bit of meringue. Now pies....that's something I understand. Remember these?

Ever seen such gorgeous meringue?

I understand meringue and I LOVE it! Not sure I've ever had it at an opera before, but I'm ready.

Another thing about this show that excites me....some lucky locals are in the production. Gives me some hometown faces to bravo about.


This is Michael and he is over the moon about being in the opera, even though he plays the role of a prisoner.  I'm happy for him and can't wait to spot him onstage.

Although I don't count myself among the opera 'educated', I'm still attending La Perichole next weekend. It looks too fun to miss.

If you feel like coming....don't be shy! Call AMARILLO OPERA for tickets to the show Saturday, March 31 or Sunday, April 1. There won't be a quiz about opera terms or etiquette or anything like that.

Wait, wait.....seems I spoke too soon about the quiz.

What on earth are you doing, Roxy-Doxy?!

**Doxy breathless in a run-on sentence**I auditioned for the part of Perichole, but David O'Dell says I might be better cast as Madame Butterfly next season...do you realize it's pronounced pear-uh-kole NOT pear-uh-CHOLE?...do you know the term opera buffa refers to all the hot, buffed-up men in the cast?...do you understand the term contralto refers to......

No opera quizzes. Just fun. Promise.

Buffed-up opera love to all.

news

So much news....so little time.

Made the drive to the Dallas area to visit Sprout #3 and play a little golf with the Texan. I was struck by the increased greening of the countryside as we drove further southeast. Praise God Texas is getting some rain! We've had some good rains in central Texas and we're beginning to see (maybe?) the loosening grip of the devilish drought.

No spring-time trip in Texas is complete without the obligatory photo of the bluebonnets. The Sprout and Texan coaxed me out of the car to pose in this field of road-side wildflowers. As I knelt down to get close to bursting blooms for the photo, I THOUGHT I heard the Sprout yelling, 'Be sexy!' Therefore, I obediently laid on my side and gave the Texan my best sexy pout for the camera-phone. When I returned to the car, the disgusted Sprout explained he was shouting, 'DON'T be sexy!'
Oops.
Must have been the noise of traffic whizzing by....or old age. Can't. help. myself.
I thought you'd enjoy seeing my blue photo.


Kinda looks like Grandma forgot to take her Miralax

 While were were in Big D, the grandson attended his first NCAA March Madness basketball game in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He saw his Mom's alma mater, Baylor, beat Colorado. Sic 'em Bears!

His KK got him the Baylor T-Shirt

Maybe next year he can fill out his bracket IF he has the cash.

Driving back to Amarillo, we stopped at a cool trailer place. You see, I've been without horse-wheels for a while now. It's complicated, but I sold my truck and trailer years ago and relied on my horse trainer to haul my horse to shows for me. He moved downstate and I was left with horses, but no way to haul them. The Texan helped me solve this dilemma. I can borrow his red truck and pull this sweet little number down the road.

Happiness

Thank you, Texan. xoxo

Now....for the most splendiforous news. Steady yourself. Really.

Ta-dah-dah-------dah-DAH!

Sprout #3 (first in our hearts!) asked darling J to marry him!

The handsome couple in Cabo last year

We think it's the smartest thing he's ever done. We ADORE her. We're giddy with excitement for these two extraordinary young people. Guess that means there's gonna be a wedding! Fun times. We feel profoundly blessed.

Thanks for sharing all this news with me, kind reader. I couldn't wait to tell you this stuff!

Bluebonnet-y love to all.

mimicry

We have a problem on our hands.



 It's hard to explain, so I'll just show you.

The grandson enjoying his bouncy chair.

What the??.....someone appeared in the bouncy chair doing the 'bichon wave'. Notice she strapped herself in for safety.

The baby experiencing his first try in the jumper.

Really Sophie??! How did you get in there?





The waving Bee-shawn Free-say is totally outta control.

Can her behavior be an extreme case of animal mimicry? Just like this clever owl?



Can you see him? I didn't snap this photo BTW.

 Don't tell the Sprout I found Soph swaddled in the crib with the pacifier. Come to think of it....was her barking episode telling me of her preference for pureed lamb?

Send. help. now.

Love to all.

pie happiness

Wind has been been blowin' in West Texas. On days when the wind is whistlin' out here on the High Plains, it's nice to have an indoor activity prepared. My activity yesterday was making lemon meringue pies for a special in-law birthday. #6-0!!

Consulted the old Betty Crocker cookbook. Do you have one of these relics? This is circa 1975-before feminism.

Wanna see my pie? Of course you do!

Used a Pioneer Woman pie crust recipe, but I adjusted the fat ratio to 2 to 1 butter to crisco. This recipe had a little bit of vinegar in it. The food processor is the only way to go in mixing pie crusts, but pie crust is always a messy proposition for me. You should've seen the flour and the parchment paper flying around the kitchen.

Hot heaven in a pan.

The filling. This is where I consulted Betty Crocker. Lots of egg yolks, sugar, cornstarch and freshly-squeezed lemons. I might have licked this pan clean with a spatula...by myself since the Texan was at work. Sorry, Texan.

Beating, beating, and beating egg whites until they are stiff and glossy.

Ta-dah! The paaahs. Aren't they gorgeous? See why I was excited to show them to you? The in-law was very happy to have these for his birthday....oh, and the taste! The taste was lemony sweetness surrounded by a flaky crust and topped with a heavenly (not too sweet) meringue. The textures were sublime and the flavor sensations amazing, even if I do say so myself! ***patting myself proudly on the back*** Fun times with the in-laws.

In case you were wondering about my security...making pies out in the rural-ness of West Texas and all, you needn't have feared.

Can you spot the guard dog on her couch perch?

Roxy Doxy was looking out the bedroom window keeping constant vigil making certain our house is protected and I can make pies in blessed peace.

She keeps her squeaky squirrel nearby in case she gets bored.

See? I'm very well-guarded.

Do I smell pie?

A sleepy Roxy Doxy:
What does Lin-sanity mean?

An exasperated me:
Knock off watching Sports Center, will you? Come help me clean the kitchen...I might have a sticky pan you can lick!

Lemony love to all.