Thursday, December 9, 2010

turkey necks

Had a funky dream I was playing the flute with our local symphony orchestra.  It was odd, because I'm not a flautist (even though I have harbored a secret desire to play the flute). I played the jazzy alto saxophone in junior high and high school.  The dream scenario had me tucked away on the back row because I wasn't very talented and the conductor was angry with me.  It was horrifying when I was supposed to 'tune' my flute to the oboe-guy.  I think a squeak came out and I didn't know what to do with my instrument.
Let's just chalk the dream up to cold medications, OK?  Oh, the pain and humiliation.  I'm getting over it....slowly

On our recent trip over the Thanksgiving holiday, I took some wonderful sunset photos.

I still marvel at the gloriousness of the sky!

We got to messing around, and I suggested some 'hi-fashion', 'vogue-y' type poses.
(by the by, the lovely young lady in this photo is a talented flautist.  really!)
One must look angry or at least extremely disinterested for high fashion photos.  NO WAY I can pull off the anorexic look.  Ambivalence...yes.

I'm so hungry, disinterested and moody, I'll just turn my back to the camera and think about food.  How high fashion is that??
Sunset profile

Anyhoo,  I'm sharing a secret with you.  Shhhhh....look, I totally photoshopped out my turkey neck!  Don't believe me?  Check out the original.
Turkey neck.

Ok, ok....maybe I airbrushed my face, too.  Aren't you an astute observer?   Smarty.
I despise my neck.  It's forever waving in the West Texas wind.  It insists on flopping over my dapper mock turtlenecks.  I'm trying to make peace with it, but I want it to disappear just like the conductor wanted the incompetent flautist to disappear in my dream story.

Too much honesty for you?  Pictures traumatizing you, eh??
A branch of my family tree?? much information!  (I did find a turkey in my photo files!!)
Sunset profile

Ahhhh.....there now.....all better.  I'm 25 again....YAY!!

Lessons for today:

Don't believe everything you see or read.
Pose with chin up to avoid turkey neck syndrome.
The judicious use of photoshop is a good thing.
Start early with the flute lessons.

Ageless love to all this week.


SarahinSC said...

Ha! Love this post! You could call it, "Waddle Be Gone!" Photoshop rocks! I wish EVERYONE knew about PS. I think we'd all feel a lot better about ourselves knowing that all models in print at PSed until they're perfect.

VB said...

Yes, I was feeling a bit jealous of that profile...Thank you! I haven't seen my chin or my hip bones in years.